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:evileye: Satire-nalia? ✔
Up to 250 words? ✔
Rock-hard abs? ✔

:innocent: Props to =Cassildra and ^neurotype for the inspiration. And remember, kids, this is satire; eating disorders are no laughing matter — unless you're the king of the gods, taking the expression "children's meal" literally, in a futile attempt to thwart prophecy and not be overthrown.

(For the karma enthusiasts among you, Saturn was merely reaping what he'd sown, having done pretty much the same thing to his own father, Uranus. Sins of the father, those who forget history, yadda yadda yadda. :blahblah:)

The title is an expression the Romans loved to shout during the actual festival. A lot. Despite the intervening two-plus millennia, it translates almost perfectly as, "Heeey Macarena!" :la:

P.S. Wrote a second entry during the chat event Word Wars challenge; here's the link.

Stop, Diego, Stop!I suppose it's only natural that when one goes by the sobriquet Lightning Monkey, one will invite comparisons to Zeus. (I suppose it's better than being mistaken for Dora the Explorer's cousin, but not by much.)

When I try to explain that in real life, I'm neither simian in appearance (except vaguely) nor capable of thunderbolts (except after some really good chili), my pleas almost always fall upon deaf ears. "Surely, Diego," they say, "with a nickname as cool as that, you must have some sort of awesome superpower!"

Well, the truth is that I do. Except it's less of a superpower, and more of a super obstacle. Y'see, the thing is... I, um...


:reading: ~WordCount: 250 on the button, if you ignore those em dashes — which for some reason, OpenOffice won't. :facepalm:


Update, as of Jan. 2: This won? zOMGWTFBBQ! :faint:
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neurotype-on-discord's avatar
Oh look, I failed to comment sooner!

I laughed. A lot. Although the abs I could actually feel would've needed a 500-word limit, I think I screwed myself there :saddummy: