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Literature by Cassildra


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Submitted on
November 9, 2006
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(An Open Source Poem)

I'd compiled a REALbasic poem
in which a Python
with a bad Lisp
named Haskell
(or Pascal)
concocted a Scheme
to swap a dull Ruby
for a shiny new Perl
from the king Cobol
while making Smalltalk
about Mathematica
over a cup of Java
before knocking him out with a SNOBOL

My prof gave it a C++
For fun. Inspired by a comment in one of those "How Nerdy Are You?" threads in the dA forums.

And yes, those are all actual programming languages.
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:iconafarmaant:
AFarmaant Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This is so funny... xD
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:icondeviantartist14:
DeviantArtist14 Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2014  Student General Artist
I have no idea who you are but i love you lol XD take it from a computer nerd/poet, great poem! totally adding this to my favorites lol
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:iconmr-timeshadow:
Mr-Timeshadow Featured By Owner May 30, 2013
Heh. Cute poem! Yeah, I recognized most of the languages (and I'm so ancient I was taught both Basic and Pascal -- even Logo!)
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:iconhavetales-willtell:
HaveTales-WillTell Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2013  Professional Writer
I am so late it's beyond funny, but thank you.

And yeah, whenever I attempt to explain the concept behind COBOL, younger people look at me the same way they do whenever I mention rotary phones and wooden tennis rackets.
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:iconmr-timeshadow:
Mr-Timeshadow Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2013
So....this "COBOL" is used for tennis rackets? How odd....:D
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:iconhavetales-willtell:
HaveTales-WillTell Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2013  Professional Writer
Y'know, at some point around the middle of last century, it wouldn't've surprised me if somewhere, some racket-stringing machine had been COBOL-ed together. :la:
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:iconmr-timeshadow:
Mr-Timeshadow Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2013
By someone with a LISP, no doubt...
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:iconhavetales-willtell:
HaveTales-WillTell Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2013  Professional Writer
That'th probably pretty clōth to the truth. ;)
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:iconmr-timeshadow:
Mr-Timeshadow Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2013
Heh! That unique spelling could be the Logo...
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:iconhavetales-willtell:
HaveTales-WillTell Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2013  Professional Writer
Get ready FORTRANscontinental rollout!
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(1 Reply)
:iconchicharrria:
chicharrria Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
LOL. XD
this is crazily great! XD
Reply
:iconhavetales-willtell:
HaveTales-WillTell Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2011  Professional Writer
:psychotic: I crazily thank you!
Reply
:iconchicharrria:
chicharrria Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
welcome! XD

haha!
Reply
:iconcassildra:
Cassildra Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2011  Professional Writer
Well done!
Reply
:iconhavetales-willtell:
HaveTales-WillTell Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2011  Professional Writer
:XD: Yeah, I'm using this piece as 'proof' that Actinium Dreams wasn't a one-off to my nerd side.
Reply
:iconcassildra:
Cassildra Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2011  Professional Writer
PFFFT, if people think that, they don't know how nerdiness truly works.
Reply
:iconhavetales-willtell:
HaveTales-WillTell Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2011  Professional Writer
:iconinoriteplz:
Reply
:iconcindy-trekfan:
Cindy-trekfan Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2010
Haha i like it!:lol:

Haskell,, brrrrrrr :(
Reply
:iconhavetales-willtell:
HaveTales-WillTell Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2010  Professional Writer
:nod: Yup. And thank you.
Reply
:iconredlady1610:
Redlady1610 Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2009
:giggle: I love it!
Reply
:iconhavetales-willtell:
HaveTales-WillTell Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2009  Professional Writer
:lol: Thanks; me too!
Reply
:iconwickedprince:
WickedPrince Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2008
Scary thing is, at one time or another I studied about half those "languages" - starting in High School, when I was allowed to take Basic (now known mainly as QBasic) instead of a Human Language. :)
Reply
:iconhavetales-willtell:
HaveTales-WillTell Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2009  Professional Writer
:iconklingonplz: Bah; Human languages are overrated. Qapla'!
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:iconwickedprince:
WickedPrince Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2009
:)
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:iconmadnesslab:
madnesslab Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2008
It is soooo inspiring!
Added it to favourites, will re-read it from time to time.
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:iconhavetales-willtell:
HaveTales-WillTell Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2008  Professional Writer
:D. Thank you! And also for the fave.
Reply
:iconenigmatic-echidna:
Enigmatic-Echidna Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2007
Oh, how deliciously clever
Reply
:iconhavetales-willtell:
HaveTales-WillTell Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2007  Professional Writer
I'm glad you felt so. Thanks so much for the :+fav:.
Reply
:icona-random-quigle:
a-random-quigle Featured By Owner Jun 20, 2007
I'm seem to have developed a real weakness for your comic poetry. This is serious. I may need to be medicated. (I wonder if it's infectious? In the interest of science I've shared this p03m with a few friends.)

And you set the nerd in me free. She's running around the kitchen right at this moment trying to build a super computer from the tupperware and three giant laddles.

You are a dangerous p03t indeed.
Reply
:iconhavetales-willtell:
HaveTales-WillTell Featured By Owner Jul 8, 2007  Professional Writer
Sounds like I might be well on my way to having started my very own meme; to what more could an internet geek possibly aspire? =p
Reply
:iconshadowwalker1013:
Shadowwalker1013 Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2006
n00b

j/k


That was really fun to read, I give you:
/drumroll

l33t status
Reply
:iconhavetales-willtell:
HaveTales-WillTell Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2006  Professional Writer
I guess that makes me the world's first n00bl33t. w00t, I say. Just, w00t. =p
Reply
:iconshadowwalker1013:
Shadowwalker1013 Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2006
Then yes, thou art worthy.
Reply
:iconhavetales-willtell:
HaveTales-WillTell Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2006  Professional Writer
:nerd::trophy:
Reply
:iconshadowwalker1013:
Shadowwalker1013 Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2006
Pwnd
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:iconlokiostara:
LokiOstara Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2006  Hobbyist General Artist
YAY! Lots of fun! I'm still entertained. =^.^=
Reply
:iconhavetales-willtell:
HaveTales-WillTell Featured By Owner Dec 2, 2006  Professional Writer
:boogie: Happy to have done my part!
Reply
:iconanareincarnation:
AnaReincarnation Featured By Owner Nov 27, 2006
Wow. Absolutely genius. And I get it, which is so weird. I'd make one up, but I can't... so I'll just read yours. Really, really good.

Nerds are so... comp-based. :D
Reply
:iconhavetales-willtell:
HaveTales-WillTell Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2006  Professional Writer
:thanks: I'm glad to have brightened your day, by at least a factor of—I mean, by however much. ;p
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:iconanareincarnation:
AnaReincarnation Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2006
if made_my_day() = "Yes":
while language_of_choice("Python") == True:
print "Of course!"
Reply
:iconhavetales-willtell:
HaveTales-WillTell Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2006  Professional Writer
Oh noes: an endless loop! :b0x0rz:
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:iconanareincarnation:
AnaReincarnation Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2006
You know it. :mwahaha:
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:icondeeef:
deeef Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2006
haha, good one.
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:iconhavetales-willtell:
HaveTales-WillTell Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2006  Professional Writer
Glad you liked.
Reply
:iconunaccompanied-me:
Unaccompanied-me Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2006   Writer
Oh, no...You didn't...*checks again*...Yes, you did...:no: :laughing:
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:iconhavetales-willtell:
HaveTales-WillTell Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2006  Professional Writer
:bow:
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:iconredwin12:
redwin12 Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2006
... i knew i should have actually studied that programming book.
Reply
:iconhavetales-willtell:
HaveTales-WillTell Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2006  Professional Writer
I already did.

It didn't help.

As you can see.

=p
Reply
:iconredwin12:
redwin12 Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2006
:giggle: actually, no, you could be explaining how to blow up a hard-drive or something for all i know. or build some sort of program to send a million dollars to my bank account, it'd look the same to me.
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:iconhavetales-willtell:
HaveTales-WillTell Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2006  Professional Writer
You've caught me out. It's actually a program to blow up a million dollars. :paranoid:
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