[x]

The Tragedy of the QWERTYA finger trips;
the auspicious moment
has turned suspicious

They Ate The Title, TooInternet monsters
Consuming online haiku?
That's ridic—

Apotheosis: Prometheus Re-BoundI thought I saw each day flow by,
from final rest to birthing cry:
the total sum of deeds undone
are bleached beneath the blazing sun
and offered up to passers-by.

The crows will claw, the seagulls cry,
the terns will carry tidbits high,
the pterodactyls catch and run—
I thought I saw.

But vivisect or vivify,
the price will never be as high
as back when I had purchased one
brand-new, and clearly underdone;
to Zeus in gratitude, I'll testify:
"I thought I saw."

Trouser, SnakeA natty pair of trousers came upon
A gracile set of stockings, quite by chance.
"Milady, say the word and I'll begone,
But firstly I must ask if thou wouldst dance."

"Of course, milord; but only if romance
And not a one-time fling dost thou propose."
"Thou hast my promise," acquiesced the pants,
Even as he sidled toward the hose.

In a manner unbefitting gallant clothes
He sought to lay himself upon her silk;
"Stop, cad!" she cried, "So thou'rt one of those!
My mother said to watch out for thy ilk."

Much wiser heads have voiced it best and first:
Those Worsted wools have always been the worst.

Some Nothing LimericksSome Nothing Limericks

The respectable cipher has fought
For the acclaim that its ancestors sought;
And though it had 'zip'
Enough for the trip,
In the end, it would all come to... naught.

Typed a Zero Wing fanboy named Gus,
"ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!"
He'd no chance to survive
Once we Zigged his hard drive;
And "Great Justice" was served to him thus!

Soldier of the LightI am a soldier of the light
Responding to the rallying-call.
We've charged ourselves, and none are short;
Should any stumble, all will fall.

The fight resumes each day at dusk;
Our hearts illuminate the way.
It matters not what skin we wear:
The darkness must be held at bay.

Today we've felt the winter's kiss;
The snow lies heavy on our backs.
But even as it weighs us down,
It also serves to hide our tracks.

Across the way, a soldier fails—
He dies, and with him his whole line!
As if to overcome their loss,
The rest close ranks and boost their shine.

We stay the course all season long
And then lie low until the thaw.
When fi

Under GlassPurple and gold,
the merfolk behold their durance vile:
presented, while the constant throng
moves along.

None are aware
of the despair the two endure,
both of them sure their spans will pass
trapped under glass....

Fighting IntoleranceMy fellow Americans — and Swiss, and Provolone, and even that fellow over there from Tibet:

No more shall we, as the saying goes, stand alone! It is time to let our pressers — I mean, oppressors — know that their rancid regime is about to rind down — excuse me, wind down.

For far too long, we cheeses have been treated as second-class foods. Grains and meats garner all the glory, while we languish half-forgotten in the endmost dairy case. It's no surprise that many of us suffer from low self-esteem! And occasionally, heartburn.

Some people will actually go out of their way to avoid us! What have we done to earn such scor

My time to cryMy life is such a mess,
Oh I have so much to confess.
Running red, in my head,
are the words I should have said.
And now I'm losing my mind,
while I'm trying hard to find.
A reason why I'm wrong or right.

My time to cry,
I say goodbye, to the lies I have inside.
But as you go,
I want to let you know.
That my heart will always belong to you.

A n00bie dA Christmas(Everybody here? Lolly? Hexe? Fantastic. Ready, go!)

On the first dAy of Christmas, Fella gave to me:
A fresh clean sheet of paper!

On the second dAy of Christmas, Fella gave to me:
two how-to books,
and a fresh clean sheet of paper!

(Don't forget to smile!)

On the third dAy of Christmas, Fella gave to me:
three new pens,
two how-to books,
and a fresh clean sheet of paper!

On the fourth dAy of Christmas, Fella gave to me:
four charcoal sticks,
three new pens,
two how-to books,
and a fresh clean sheet of paper!

(Sing it, people!)

On the fifth dAy of Christmas, Fella gave to me:

Collaborative Poetry [2]I wondered locally, with a pint glass
whether or not she had a fine ass
i glance over the cliff
and take a sip of rum.
But I can't see why
I live divided
by the strong swelling of my lions
I roar like Simba on Pride Rock
i leap off into the water, swimming as far as i can
because I wandered lonely, as a cloud
How can I make sense of it all?
I lift the corners of the sky
and uncover the secret sun
that the green lion devours
and as the lion watches night fall on his heart he lets out a mighty roar of dispair
despair is full of woe
Roars fill the sky
and inside the earth, it curls:
With morphine drips into their souls
giant badgers battling moles!
in the darkness the rainbow shines extra bright
bright with danger and love
Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet
so the cycle turns.
yet the bubbles sparkle truth
and also lies! There is a horse
it rides fast carrying both lies and truth away
and so the bubbles sparkle from its feet with each
It's a unicorn, so it sparkles too
in th

And So I WriteI am calm.

My hand is measured and steady. I write without a quake in my fingertips.

There are blank spaces in the book. There are places where there are no words. There are places where there is nothing but silence, howling out of the lines between my lines, into the empty spaces. From the empty spaces. There is no end to it, and I am so, so small in its eyes. I have so little time.

But I have words. I am calm, and I have words. I can fill the empty spaces with words, and then there will be no more silence.

And so I write.

The words try to twist away from me. No, not the words. The words defend me; the endless, voiceless, screaming quie

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Things Fella PartFor deviantART's 12th birthday, the staff decided to throw a callipygian surprise party for Fella. They gathered at Fella's favorite restaurant, The Fancy Vermin, with presents in hand. Llama brought Fella to the door and once they stepped in, all of the staff screamed, "Huzzah to the Queen!" Fella was so shocked that he instantly defenestrated himself. He opened his presents to find that Llama had given him 12 kilos of black-market catnip. He was amazed! He would never forget that night.

Drunken (r)AmblingA minotaur and centaur walked into a bar.
The gryphon, however, flew over it. And the basilisk had the presence of mind to duck.
A chimera whipped out its cell phone and dialed 911. A pegasus promptly responded, treating the minotaur for a black eye and the centaur for a bruised hoof.
And to top it all off, it turned out the offending structure belonged to a satyr, who was also a lawyer. He was promptly . . . disbarred.

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Nerd Humor

by `HaveTales-WillTell, Nov 9, 2006, 8:15:45 AM
Literature / Poetry / Humor / Free Verse

(An Open Source Poem)

I'd compiled a REALbasic poem
in which a Python
with a bad Lisp
named Haskell
(or Pascal)
concocted a Scheme
to swap a dull Ruby
for a shiny new Perl
from the king Cobol
while making Smalltalk
about Mathematica
over a cup of Java
before knocking him out with a SNOBOL

My prof gave it a C++

Nerd Humorby `HaveTales-WillTell

Literature / Poetry / Humor / Free Verse

©2006-2013 `HaveTales-WillTell

For fun. Inspired by a comment in one of those "How Nerdy Are You?" threads in the dA forums.

And yes, those are all actual programming languages.

~~mad 0 0~~

~~sad 0 0~~

~~fear 0 0~~

*chicharia Nov 6, 2011 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

LOL. XD
this is crazily great! XD

Reply

`HaveTales-WillTell Nov 7, 2011 Professional Writer

I crazily thank you!

Reply

*chicharia Nov 8, 2011 Hobbyist Traditional Artist

welcome! XD

haha!

Reply

=Cassildra Nov 3, 2011 Professional Writer

Well done!

Reply

`HaveTales-WillTell Nov 3, 2011 Professional Writer

Yeah, I'm using this piece as 'proof' that Actinium Dreams wasn't a one-off to my nerd side.

Reply

=Cassildra Nov 3, 2011 Professional Writer

PFFFT, if people think that, they don't know how nerdiness truly works.

Reply

`HaveTales-WillTell Nov 3, 2011 Professional Writer

Reply

~Cindy-trekfan Jan 15, 2010

Haha i like it!

Haskell,, brrrrrrr

Reply

`HaveTales-WillTell Jan 28, 2010 Professional Writer

Yup. And thank you.

Reply

!Redlady1610 Feb 27, 2009

I love it!

Reply