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Daily Deviation
Daily Deviation
December 17, 2008
The suggester said, "Who Cares About...? by =BornBlitzed is a witty retort to one of Shakespeare's better known sonnets, playing off of the lines of the original sonnet while forming an interesting and amusing sonnet of its own."
Featured by lovetodeviate
Suggested by GaioumonBatou
Literature Text
WHO CARES ABOUT YOUR MISTRESS’ EYES?
(A Rebuttal to Shakespeare’s Sonnet CXXX)
Why should it matter in the least if her
Lips are coral red or pale pink?
If suntanned breasts are worrying you, sir,
You need your head examined, one would think.
And you honestly believe her cheeks and hair
Detract because they differ from the norm?
I doubt you'd find another who would care;
For as they are, they are indeed well-formed.
As to her breath and voice, I will concede
That reeks and rasps as adjectives fit well;
But Listerine will satisfy her need,
And huskiness in speech, a flaw? Do tell!
You love her, faults and all, or so you've said—
So you love her; now cart her off to bed!
(A Rebuttal to Shakespeare’s Sonnet CXXX)
Why should it matter in the least if her
Lips are coral red or pale pink?
If suntanned breasts are worrying you, sir,
You need your head examined, one would think.
And you honestly believe her cheeks and hair
Detract because they differ from the norm?
I doubt you'd find another who would care;
For as they are, they are indeed well-formed.
As to her breath and voice, I will concede
That reeks and rasps as adjectives fit well;
But Listerine will satisfy her need,
And huskiness in speech, a flaw? Do tell!
You love her, faults and all, or so you've said—
So you love her; now cart her off to bed!
Literature
Manuscript
I have written us down, typed us up, and sent us out.
they will edit us, and say some parts are no good.
but I want your run-ons, your lack of punctuation; and you are so easy
on my weak binding, my damaged spine.
Literature
The Couplet and the Villanelle
The Couplet and the Villanelle
Said the couplet to the villanelle
"You, for all of your complexity
really are a vacuum and a shell
overwrought and odd, compared to me.
You, for all your cunning and your craft
your metaphors and similes and signs
conjure awkward rhymes that make me laugh
strung together in repeating lines."
Said the villanelle to couplet small
"I know I can ramble on at times
but, you know, you are inside of me
and you are complicit in my rhymes.
What's ironic though, you know... doggonnit.
both of us are stuck within this sonnet."
Literature
i think it was a friday
I walked about 4 miles home while nursing a bottle of vodka.
I've seen these houses, these businesses, every day for years
but now they glow with that pre-dawn illuminance offered by
speeding drunks and cops and kids on pcp screaming down alleys
when I'm the only one who can hear.
I don't remember it raining during the night
but the puddles huddling against the curbs seem to remind me of something.
Something lost and stagnant like the abandoned bastard water that exists
without the rain to blame it on.
I left the party and the friends when I realized that I hated everybody there
and I took the rest of the hard liquor with me.
It do
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I wrote the first incarnation of this twenty years ago, based on the conflux of two events: a college writing assignment and a lovers' spat. The assignment was to write a parody; easy enough. The inspiration to use Sonnet CXXX — itself a pastiche of the gushy love sonnets of Shakespeare's day — came about when a good friend called me up to complain, "He [her boyfriend] threw Sonnet 130 at me!"
Ladies and gentlemen, never throw Sonnet CXXX at your significant other. Ever. Instead of taking it the way ol' Will had intended — that nobody's as perfect as his lovesick contemporaries tried to claim — she (or he) will always assume that what you really meant was: "You are so flawed."
Needless to say, that relationship ended soon after, with far less of a bang than a whimper.
Update, as of Aug. 2007: This has been entered into *laurengary's parody contest.
Ladies and gentlemen, never throw Sonnet CXXX at your significant other. Ever. Instead of taking it the way ol' Will had intended — that nobody's as perfect as his lovesick contemporaries tried to claim — she (or he) will always assume that what you really meant was: "You are so flawed."
Needless to say, that relationship ended soon after, with far less of a bang than a whimper.
Update, as of Aug. 2007: This has been entered into *laurengary's parody contest. © 2006 - 2024 HaveTales-WillTell
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It is too much fun to make fun of the Bard, and you do an excellent job of keeping time with the syllables! Well done!